Lost

This is my external hard disk. Capacity; 400 GB. 

Bought in Malaysia. RM250

One fateful night, with ultimate intention to copy Perempuan Berkalung Sorban, I went to Najib Daud's house (famously known as Komeng).


And without doubt,  I was accompanied by my lucky external hard disk.


Soon I realised, that was the beginning of the end...


As my hard disk went about to run his usual bussiness, we were shocked to hear an eerie sound...


tak....tak...tak...


"We nip,takut aku dengar bunyi external ko nh..."
"Ish...xpnah jadi camni sebelum ni..."


and it start buffering....which seem to take  forever.


Najib's laptop jammed too.


I decided not to continue further. The movie was copied in my thumb drive then.
About two days after that, I took the hard disk to computer shop, only to hear, after three days of 'mysterious test' .....


"Bad luck, boy. Your hard disk have too many physical errors. I know no way to repair it. Don't worry, I won't charge you."


Urgh...


Not seeing it as the end, I consulted another shop owner. Unlike the previous one, he took only two minutes to declare, blatantly convincing, and to the very least, 'comfortingly',


"It is DEAD!"


What?!


"It is DEAD!" "It is DEAD!" "It is DEAD!"


These killer ripples keep echoing in my mind.




THE REASON


Since then, I resigned to the fact that....it can no longer serve me....


Why was that?!


I try to figure that out..


Ismi? He has done nothing wrong. Only maybe he got it at the wrong time.
Mahdi? So much so. Hilarious misunderstanding could not possibly result to this.


Long after that, I found the actual answer I've been hiding myself from,
It can no longer serve me because I forget to serve it....
That is the real reason.


What goes around comes around...


For so long, I had took it for granted.
Misplaced...allowing it to experience constant acceleration of gravitational force...  gave it no added protection...blablabla...and the long list of mistakes continues..


The mistakes is built around my attitude towards it...


Unfortunately, it was too late when I realised that...
In fact, the hard disk had to 'kill itself' to tell me...




SELF DENIAL


At some point in our life, I am sure we will or we have face this mammoth, overwhelming guilt. It will creeps in     and engulf your food vacuole self esteem and dignity. 


But we can find the force to overcome it within ourselves,
the very moment we are ready to approve the truth..


Dedicated for my hard disk;


"Sometimes, we try to hate things we lost,
We tell ourselves...
Good that it is out of sight,
For it only gives visceral pain and continuous misery...
For its presence make us forget to appreciate precious things in life..
Repulsive and addicted...


There we try to reason.


But deep in our heart,
We know that this is a big fatty acid lie.
It is never out of mind,
For the innocent bliss it brings,
For the morning sunshine that make us smile,


It is still there,
Rooted and undefeated."


p/s : Sorry if I sound naive and pessimistic, guess that is the 'after effect' of reading Thought, published by Hesperus.  ( I forget the name of the writer)




APPRECIATE


This may be just a small example.


And maybe to some, insignificant...


Let's take a look at these quotes, taken from www.heartquotes.net

Mother Teresa
There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.


Harper Lee
Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.


Sara Paddison, Hidden Power of the Heart
The word "appreciation" means to be thankful and express admiration, approval, or gratitude. It also means to grow or appreciate in value. As you appreciate life, you become more valuable—both to yourself and others.



See?


It is not too late. 
Start appreciating. 
Stop moaning about things you lost.


'More moaning,less appreciating'...and WE may end up losing much more important things in life.


I bet that WE 'don't need' for that to happen.